spiceblueeyes (spiceblueeyes) wrote,

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Stake Happy

I wrote this for the prompt Dead at the Wheel at tamingthemuse. Haven't decided if I'll write more yet or not. It really depends on how long I'm going to procrastinate packing. I'm moving back to school next Wednesday and I haven't even started. *hangs head*

Title: Stake Happy
Summary: Xander has to come clean about his secret.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss, and Mutant Enemy, and bunches of other people and companies that have way more money that me.

A knock on the door was answered by Giles, “Wesley!”

“Rupert.” Wesley nodded a greeting at the older man.

“What are you doing in Sunnydale?” Giles stepped back from the doorway and gestured for Wesley to enter, careful to not speak a verbal invitation. Wesley gave a wry smile at the precaution. Anywhere else it would be paranoid, but in Sunnydale it was common sense.

“I drove Angel here.” Wesley looked around the room. Buffy was on Giles’ couch, next to Willow, and Riley was sitting on her other side. Xander was in the kitchen, and could be seen behind the counter.  All eyes were focused on him.

“What’s Deadboy doing here?” Xander’s question went unanswered as Wesley stepped into the house.

“Since it is daylight, Angel needed someone to drive him. I volunteered.” Looking back to Giles, he asked, “Does Angel still have an invitation into your home?”

“Yes,” Giles nodded as Wesley leaned back out the door and gestured to someone in the car. Moments later Angel ran inside, keeping the sun away with a blue blanket held over his body. Safely under cover, he dropped the smoking blanket and turned to watch Giles shut the door.

“Please tell me this isn’t another apocalypse, cause I’m so no ready to deal with that again.” Xander said, though no one really paid much attention.

“Hi Angel,” Buffy looked decidedly uncomfortable. It was probably due to being in the same room with the ex-love-of-her-life and her new boyfriend, neither of whom knew about the other.

“Hey Buffy,” Angel stared at her for a long moment, then turned to Giles. “Thanks for letting me in, we’ll be out of your hair at sundown.”

“Wait, this guy is a vamp?” Riley reached for his stake, his eyes focused on Angel. Buffy put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

“Did the charred blanket not give that away?” Xander’s quiet sarcastic remark was only heard by Angel, whose facial expression didn’t change.

“Yeah, but he’s one of the good guys, I’ll explain later.” Riley relaxed at Buffy’s words, but kept his eyes on Angel.

For his part, Angel was suddenly studying the wall next to Giles’ head; he’d noticed the affection in Buffy’s touch.

Seeing the odd look on Angel’s face, Giles asked, “What is so important that you had to drive all the way to Sunnydale from LA in the middle of the afternoon?”

“Actually G-man, Wes drove, cause if Angel tried to drive it would bring whole new meaning to the phrase “dead at the wheel.” Xander laughed, then stopped as he saw he was the only one laughing. “Come on guys, that's funny, dead at the wheel.” Receiving glares from Buffy, Angel, Giles, and Wesley, he held up his hands. “Alright, not funny.”

Attention turned back to Angel, who said “I’m here to stake Spike.” Everyone looked a little startled by this announcement, and Xander blanched.

Willow finally spoke up, “Why, he’s chipped, he can’t hurt anyone?”

“Apparently he got the chip out. I’ve been keeping tabs on him and he was seen biting a man at a club a few nights ago.” The answer elicited a gasp from Willow, serious eyebrow scrunching from Buffy, a satisfied look on Riley’s face, and a sigh from Giles. Xander simply looked troubled and started edging his way to the back door.

Giles walked waved his hand toward two open chairs, “Why don’t you both sit and you can fill us in on the details as we wait for sunset.” Angel and Wesley sat down, and Xander quietly left the house.


“Spike,” Xander was in Spike’s crypt, standing next to his bed looking down at the sleeping vampire.

Spike, apparently unwilling to be woken so easily, muttered “Not now Dru, tell Miss Edith to sod off,” and rolled over.

“Spike!” Desperate to wake the vampire up, but knowing that shaking him was a bad idea. Last time he’d tried that Spike had nearly broken his wrist before he’d realized who it was. “As fascinating as that little insight into your previous life is, you need to get up now.” Spike opened his eyes, still bleary with sleep. “Angel’s coming to stake you.”Just like that awareness snapped into his eyes.

“Right then,” Spike pushed himself up so that he was sitting and ran his hand through his hair, “let ‘im try.”

“What! Are you crazy, did Dru rub off on you after all? He’s coming to kill you, permanently.” Xander gaped at Spike.

“Poofter’s a demon isn’t he, I can still hurt demons. I’m not afraid of Captain Hairgel.” Spike waved dismissively with his hand, “I can take ‘im.”

“What about Buffy? She’s human,”

“Slayer won’t stake me, haven’t done anything have I?” Spike explained patiently.

“Good logic, except for the fact that Angel told everyone that you can bite people again.” Spike looked shocked, “yeah, someone saw us.”

“Bollocks, it’s not like you didn’t want it! Couldn’t have done it if you didn’t want it. Can’t bite other people can I?”Spike leapt up and started pacing, his customary black jeans partly undone and shirtless. Xander took a moment to appreciate.

I know that, but they don’t.” Xander sat on the bed. Spike gave him a searching look.

“So are we gonna tell ‘em? Or are we gonna just let them think I’m killing again and stake me.”

Grimacing, Xander replied, “I wouldn’t just let them stake you Spike, but I’m not sure I want to tell them about us. I’m not ready.”

“Well get ready,” Spike snapped, “Because I’m not dusting so that your friends don’t have to find out you’re shaggin’ the evil undead!” Spike didn’t minded dirty secrets, because they usually led to sex in one way or another, but he’d never really been okay with the fact that it was Xander who was ashamed to be with him, and not the other way around.

“That’s…a valid point,” Xander sighed.

“What?” He hadn’t been expecting instant capitulation.

“You’re right, I should tell them, but in the mean time you should stay at my place. They won’t look for you there.”

Hastily pulling on a shirt and grabbing his duster, he strode toward the grate that served as sewer access so he could get around during the day. “Let’s be off then. Don’t much fancy a staking before you get a chance to make your big confession.” Xander grimaced and followed him.


Three hours later Xander was sitting cross-legged on top of the stone sarcophagus in the upper level of Spike’s crypt. Spike was safely in Xander’s basement at his house, and the sun had gone down a few minutes ago. Expecting Angel and friends any minute, he was understandably tense. He’d spent the past few hours creating and discarding mini speeches in his head, hoping to find the right words to explain his relationship with Spike. Spike himself had been no help with this, advising Xander to “just tell ‘em we’re shagging, and that you let me bite you cause you like it.” Not the best opening line, Xander thought, but still better than nothing which was what he had right now. He was just going to have to wing it and hope for the best.

He could tell them that he and Spike had started as enemies, turned into friends, which had then morphed easily into friends with benefits as Xander had started to question his sexuality. He could say that Spike gave him something no one else ever had, that he made him feel important, like he mattered. He could try to explain that somewhere along the line he had fallen in love with Spike, but hadn’t said it out loud yet, and was unsure if the feelings were returned.

Hearing footsteps outside, he realized time was up. The door to the crypt burst open, and Angel charged in shouting “Spike!” Buffy followed close behind, and Riley was at her heels. They all stopped in confusion when they spotted Xander.

“Hey guys, Spike’s not here.” Okay, deep breath, “and we need to talk.”

“We don’t have time to talk Xander, Spike’s killing again.” Buffy talked to him like he was slow in the head.

“No, he’s not,” Xander blushed and looked at Angel, “it was me.” This statement was met with continued confusion, though Angel looked thoughtful. “I’m the guy Spike was biting at that club,” he pulled the neckline of his shirt down to expose the healing bite mark, “he’s not killing, he can only bite me.”


“Explain,” the demand came from Angel.

“Okay, so I’ve been seeing Spike for a while now. Since he first lived in my basement actually, and we…well, we’re having sex.” Riley looked disgusted, Buffy was looking a bit shell-shocked, and Angel was nodding his head in understanding. “So, at first, whenever we would try to have sex, he’d start biting me, which set off the chip.” Xander wasn’t looking at any of them now, choosing to stare at the ceiling above them instead, “it was kind of a mood killer. So…remember Warren, the robot guy, I went and asked him to make a small change in the programming of Spike’s chip.” He held up his hand and put his thumb and index finger close together, “really small change, teensy tiny.” He glanced at their faces, it didn’t seem like there would be imminent violence so he continued; “I had him make it so that Spike could hurt me, just me, no one else.”

More silence, then “okay.” Angel shrugged and walked back out the door. Riley looked really angry, but he said nothing and followed Angel, leaving Xander to face Buffy alone.

“That’s sick Xander. You’re letting Spike hurt you? Are you under some kind of spell, or thrall, or a thrall-spell thingy?” Moving to stand in front of where Xander was sitting on top of the stone, they were eye to eye.

“No spell, no thrall, just me. And Spike doesn’t hurt me, I mean sometimes it hurts, but only in the good way, you know?” Seeing the incomprehension of Buffy’s face he said, “I guess you don’t know. But trust me, I’m fine.” Buffy still looked unconvinced. “I’m happy to talk about it more with you, well not happy as much as slightly mortified, but first I need to know that you won’t get stake happy with Spike. He’s my boyfriend and there will be no dusting of the Xan man’s boyfriend.”

Buffy nodded slowly. “Okay, for now, but we’re taking you to Willow to make sure there isn’t a spell. Xander slid off the sarcophagus and stood.

“Lead the way.” As he walked out of the crypt with Buffy, he decided that the night really could have gone much worse. Then he squished that thought down, unwilling to tempt fate. The Hellmouth was quick to take advantage of things like that, even if you didn’t say them out loud.


Tags: spander, stake happy

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    So I signed up for this prompt table back in January, thinking it wouldn't take that long to do. I tell me past self: HA. Edit: It doesn't even…

  • Xander's Apple 8/8

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